How To JournalSpeak™

Start by making three lists:

1: Past Stressors

Any events that happened in your past that caused you stress, including in your childhood/teen years/younger adulthood. Things that caused you to feel fear, anger, guilt, shame, or humiliation, or any other big feelings.

This list might include things like: neglect, abuse, abandonment, moving home/school, bullying, witnessing verbal or physical abuse, having a medical condition, difficulties with siblings, lack of affection, addiction in your family of origin, divorce or marital problems, mental illness in the family, bereavement, absence of a parent, stress of studying, leaving job, experiencing a traumatic event, career stress, difficulties with friendships, illness or injury to yourself or a loved one… or just being an energetic mismatch with a parent.

Anything that means something to you, even if no one else would understand it, goes on this list. It can be something as specific as: “that time on the playground in 4th grade” or “the girl from sports camp.”

2: Current stressors

Anything in your life that’s causing you stress now, and is still ongoing. This list may include things like the examples already given above.

3: Personality Traits

Aspects of your personality that may be contributing to your stress.

Examples of these are things like: perfectionism, being a people pleaser, needing other people to like and approve of you, having a strong inner critic, setting very high standards for yourself, judging yourself harshly, putting other people’s needs before your own, finding it difficult to set boundaries with other people, pessimism, low self-esteem or low self-worth, difficulty in feeling and/or expressing emotions, hyper-vigilance and anxiety. This is a list of suggestions, but open your mind to what makes sense for you.

Pick a topic from your list and write about it for 20 minutes.

Don’t overthink about where to start. Just pick one. If you end up going off on a tangent, that’s okay. Imagine you’re putting a bunny down in the snow and letting it explore, follow the trail and see where it takes you.

20 minutes is the recommended minimum to give yourself time to explore the topic and push past any resistance. If you have more to say, it’s okay to keep going.

Tell the truth and don’t be afraid to go deep.
The whole point of JournalSpeak™ (JS) is to write the raw, unfiltered truth about how you feel. Don’t censor yourself or edit; try to be honest about what you’re feeling even if it’s shameful, scary, or ugly. Nobody else is going to read this (I recommend that you delete/destroy it after writing). Imagine you’re a kid having a tantrum and let it all out – or think of it as word vomit. You’re getting something horrible out onto the page, so that it’s not stuck inside your body anymore.

Try to allow your feelings to rise.
The key is to stay focused on your emotional response. Try and be aware of what feelings are rising for you as you write. Notice what’s happening in your body and try to let those feelings rise. This can be difficult at first if you’re used to repressing your feelings, so don’t be hard on yourself if it takes a while for you to feel anything. Keep up a regular JS practice, and gradually your brain will learn that it’s okay to feel things.

After JS, do a self-compassion meditation for 10 minutes.

This is to bring you back to feeling more positive, and to allow you some time to forgive yourself for any difficult feelings that may have risen. There are lots of free self-compassion meditations on YouTube or Insight Timer (which is a free phone app). I also have meditations for sale here on my website. You can sit in silence, listen to monks chanting or singing bowls, or listen to a guided visualization. Anything that helps you to come back to center. You are saving your own life, and everything matters.

Rinse and repeat – ideally every day.

The best way to see results is to set aside time to do JournalSpeak™ every day. A regular practice will help reduce the internal stress that is driving your symptoms.

For more information and links to resources, please visit my General Resources page.

For more detailed information and tips about how to get the most out of JournalSpeak™ check out this page on My TMS Journey.

Compiled by: Phil De La Haye, originally for my JournalSpeak Community on FB.