Today we are going to explore the three requirements of healing. It’s very important for you to get these three before we go any further in this Healing Yourself series. You can watch the video, below, or keep reading.
I'm going to revisit the question that I posed in the first post (Healing Yourself From Chronic Pain: Part 1) which is: How long would you like to suffer?
The reason why I continue to pose this rather uncomfortable question is because one of the main barriers you are going to face in doing this work is convincing yourself that an emotional exercise can cure a physical condition.
It's hard to believe. We have been trained and raised to believe that emotions are one thing, and your physical body is another. People will acknowledge that "stress" can cause illnesses like headaches and ulcers, but still can't make the connection between an emotional exercise literally curing a physical condition. But it does, it can, and it absolutely will.
It's rare in life to find someone willing to speak with as much confidence that I have about this process of healing yourself from chronic pain. However, I have experienced this process personally. Through my personal experience, and my confidence, I’ve been able to lead so many people through this process to heal themselves.
The Proof is in Your Body
When you are working through this process, let your body be your proof. You are going to run into roadblocks of resistance of your smart, smart brain saying to you, "Yeah, but this can't possibly work." You tell your brain, "Thank you for sharing," and just do the work.
Requirement #1: Believing You Can & Will Be Well
The first requirement of healing is believing you can and will be well.
Our perception is our reality. If you think you're a shameful piece of shit, then you're a shameful piece of shit. Nobody can see you in your deepest thoughts. Only you can see you.
If you walk out of the house and you're like, "I am beautiful. I am the hottest thing going," then all day, you're the hottest thing going because your view of yourself is really the only reality that you experience. Other people might have opinions about you, but that's none of your business.
Other people’s opinions are their thoughts, and their thoughts about you are so fleeting because most people are just concerned about themselves. That's why you have the ultimate power to heal yourself.
Your emotions are killing you, but not because you feel them, it’s because you don't. Emotions are very inconvenient. They get in the way of almost everything we try to do. Being too much of anything, good or bad, sad or excited, doesn't usually fit in our day.
What your body says to you when you feel pain is, "Listen to me. I would like to have a voice here. I would like to feel the things that I'm feeling." But often we subconsciously and reflexively just shut it down like, “You're not convenient, I don't want to hear you, leave me alone."
Shutting down our emotions necessitates pain because when we say to them, "I won't listen to you," the emotions still find a way. "Oh, you won't listen to me? How about a migraine? You'll listen to that. You’re going to stop what you're doing, you're going to go lay down, you're going to take a pill and you're going to turn off the lights. Gotcha now."
This may sound crazy but I promise you it’s true. By unveiling, unearthing, and excavating these emotions that are simply asking to be heard, you will no longer have pain. The first requirement of healing is that you decide, you make a decision. It can be a temporary decision. I can and will be well. I can and I will. I'm just going to suspend my disbelief and I'm going to feel that today.
Requirement #2: Do the Work
The second requirement of healing is to do the work. Don't worry about it, don't question it, don't be skeptical about it and say, "Oh well, I don't know about this work." Just be quiet and do the work. Do the work I ask of you and let your body be your proof. Be your own little science experiment. Do the work.
Resistance is our brain's way of keeping us, what I like to call, safe in the un-safest way. You are safe, right? You are safe because you wake up, you go through your day, you take care of your kids, you do your job, whatever it is that you do. You think you are safe because it's the way you have always done it, and your brain really wants to keep it that way. Even if pain is part of your day, that becomes your normal and your brain wants to keep the status quo.
Resistance is your brain's way of protecting you. It says, "No, no, don't change things. No, no, what are you doing? You're journaling? You're going to look at your fear? You're going to look at your anger? You're going to look at the fact that you hate your mom, that you don't believe in God, that you wish you never had children, that the job choice you have is a mistake? That everything you are doing is a lie?"
You are going to understand as you get to know me that these things aren't necessarily true, but there is a place in your heart and in your psyche that they are true for you. Those things keep you sick and I'm going to help you safely and kindly excavate that stuff and evaporate it into the air. You don't need to have pain and you don't need to be stuck in those dark emotions, so just trust me for now.
The second requirement of healing is that you do the work.
Requirement 3: Patience, Kindness and Forgiveness for Yourself
The third requirement of healing is patience, kindness, and forgiveness for yourself. You are able to be patient and kind with other people because you are a nice person, and a good person. But I guarantee you that you have a shitload more trouble being patient with yourself.
Being patient with ourselves is the hardest thing to do. We're so hard on ourselves. We're perfectionistic. We want to be liked by everyone. We want to be good all the time. We want to be approved of by everyone. You are a human being. You are flawed by your very nature. It is not your fault. You must be patient and kind to you.
You must forgive yourself. So, you are going to believe that you can be well, the first requirement. You are going to do the work, the second requirement. The third requirement is to be nice to yourself when you screw it up.
You are going to feel like you're doing it wrong, or you might miss a day. When that happens just keep up the good work and don't worry about it. Just keep on keeping on. Left foot, right foot, breathe. Left foot, right foot, breathe. You will be well.
You will see the difference in your body and in your mind, but it takes time and patience. Don't be hard on yourself. Don't count the minutes until you're better. Because if you do that, you slow down your process and that's not necessary.
These are the three requirements of healing. Take it in, think about it, and in the next post we are going to learn about the science behind this, how I learned about it, and how you're going to prepare yourself to do the work that is going to save your life.